Alpha

In the beginning, there was my blog.  Then there were reviews.  Then there was the show.  Now there is this blog.  I'm just going to jump right back in and we can all pretend my absence never happened. 

I recently found myself participating in a group project.  No, not the type that requires lube and safewords, this project is for my Lit class.  I also found myself working with two females.  Again, no lube, spanking or livestock.  One of these bitches just happens to be a self proclaimed expert in the topic we were assigned, so we should be all aces, right?  Well, we were until this stupid pregnant slut decided that she would take the entire project on by her self.  Pause. 

In the world of higher learning, there are a few unwritten rules.  Rules leftover from the playground, if you will.  I'm not going to bore you all to hell with all of them, but here is the one that White Socks With Black Birkenstocks McFuckerston broke recently. 

IF THOU HAST A PROBLEM WITH A CONTRIBUTOR IN YOUR GROUP, THOU SHALT TAKE UP YOUR PERCEIVED TRANSGRESSION WITH SAID MEMBER BEFORE GOING AND BITCHING TO THE PROFESSOR.

Oh, McFuckerston, didn't you notice the rapport I have established with the professor?  She's a big fan of my writing.  When you decided to arrange a meeting with the professor, one that I had already told you that we needed to schedule, you should have fucking told me about it.  Hard for me to show up to a meeting I don't know about.  Oh, and if you're setting up a roast without me there, you better fucking make sure that the other girl in the group shares your outlook.  What's that?  She had no complaints about my contribution?  Really?  I'm glad you at least told her about the meeting.  Why she didn't tell me about it, I'll never fucking know.  I could care less though, bitch, because I met with our professor today.  And she told me all about the issues you had with me.  Nice to hear it from our fucking professor, really.  In a roundabout way, instead of doing the right thing, and filing your grievances with me first, you went and attempted to fuck with my livelyhood.  I'm a GI Bill student.  If my gpa falls below a certain point, I lose my housing allowance.  Yes, that means that I can't pay rent and keep my wife and two children sheltered.  So, I now have no other choice than to repay the favor.  Starting today, I will be on a mission to find a way to make sure you understand the consequences of your actions.  I think I will start by inviting a homeless man to class next week.  A really smelly son of a bitch, and have him sit next to you in class.  I know how sensitive a pregnant woman's nose is, you won't like this one bit.  That addresses my lesson in livelihood.  Now, as for your lying, I have a solution for that as well.  McFuckerston, when I asked you to meet me at noon in an effort to present you with my research, you didn't show.  I was there at 1150, and finally left for class at 1250 after roaming the single hall for one hour.  I haven't had six beers in the last two weeks, so I know I didn't miss you.  I paced and paced and finally texted the other girl telling her I would just email her my shit because you never showed.  Thanks for telling the professor, however, that it was me that wasn't there.  I could have let your first offense slide, but when it's added to a falsehood about me, and implicates me as a liar, well, you're completely fucked.  Standby, McFuckerston, I'm about to shit all over your birckenstocks.